The sun is out, birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, and people have traded in layers of clothes for a little skin exposure. Oh yes, make no mistake about it, Spring has sprung. But how is this shift in weather impacting your relationship?

Conventional wisdom tells us to find someone to hibernate with through the cold months and when the temperature rises, we break free to find what’s fresh. But is that true? I’ve always looked at spring as a time for blossoming and growing in your relationship.

Does Spring make you want to blossom in your relationship or prune it and start anew?

—Al Butler

Yes women love to hold on to a teddy bear, but Fellas, do you realize that if you don’t lose the extra weight that you’re proudly carrying around, not only do you set yourself up for an early grave, your sexual prowess will die an all too early death too?

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Minority Health, reports that just over 71 percent of black men ages 20 years and older are overweight. That staggering statistic carries with it  a series of health issues including,  diabetes, stroke, and high blood pressure that can prove a detriment to your overall quality of life. And for a man it also affects the “quality” of your sexual performance—that would include stamina and blood flow (message!).

A while back, researchers at the University of Chicago reported that men that stay reasonably fit are more likely to partake and successfully participate in sexual relations for more years. In fact, men age 55 gained five to seven years of extra lovin’ on average compared to a group of men who fell in the pre-Weight Watchers Charles Barkley category.

The study also found that men were more likely to follow the necessary steps to take care of their physical health when they knew it would result in a boost in their sexual health. Go figure.

So the message is clear. Fellas if you’re overweight or obese you’re going to die early and sexually unfulfilled. But, if you get and stay fit and healthy, you’ll look great, feel great and have great sex—for much longer.

So much for that cheeseburger and large fries…

Ladies my man club membership card may be in jeopardy with this entry, but here we go…

As much talk is there is about men and women being from different planets and speaking different tongues—when it comes to love and wanting to fall in love—most of us are not that different at all. Most of us are looking for our perfect complement—that person that pushes all the right buttons, without hitting the wrong ones…or at least not too many of them. The biggest difference is in how men and women are socialized. By the time we are let loose in our first sand box we already know that girls are looking for prince charming and that men are to never commit to the first “princess” that punches their arm.

Enter: Overbooking.

Overbooking is a system that airlines use to ensure that as many of their flights leave at capacity as possible—even if that means people who actually bought AND paid for real seats on a flight get left in the lurch. This tactic, although leaving the various airlines head counts satisfied, leaves more than a few screwed and confused, wondering what happened. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever flown standby? No, well I’m here to tell you, it’s not for the faint of heart.  You purchase a ticket for the flight you’d like to be on, then you go to the airport, get to your gate and wait…and wait, hoping that the flight you’ve chosen will have room for you. 

If the forces of the universe refuse to cooperate and don’t put you on that initial flight, you spend the rest of the day going from gate to gate, wandering and wondering, when and/or if.

As each successive flight gets closer to departing your heart races with anticipation, thinking this could be the one—all this done, while your mind braces for possible disappointment of yet another rejection.

Sound familiar?  I think for many women it does, because many times women, so eager to land in love, will choose to “fly stand by”. Read the rest of this entry »

A survey taken last year in the UK, concluded that 1 in 10 women fake an orgasm nearly every time they have sex. Of these haters of horniness, 94% said they have never been caught, and another 38% said their lovers have no idea when they are putting on a “show”.

As a man, i think I speak for most men when I say: I don’t get why women do this! To me, women are only cheating themselves of what should—and could—be a wonderful experience. While it’s almost impossible to make every session a Trey Songz video, it shouldn’t feel like your sitting through a stage play starring Michelle Williams either. Read the rest of this entry »

As the heat index climbs (at least in the north east corridor) everyone is out and about – including me. As I traverse the city, I can’t help but notice all the couples. I mean there are hundreds of’em, seemingly headed nowhere in particular, just walking around. So how do I know they were all couples you ask? Because they were HOLDING HANDS!

Recognizing that it takes two to handhold, and one is usually a man, I was a bit taken aback by this observance. Now, some of these men seemed less enthusiastic than others, which left me to ponder: How do we men feel about holding hands and if we don’t like it, why do we do it? Read the rest of this entry »

In our relationship lives we all carry with us remnants of loves past, and based on our age and our dating experience; some carry more than others. So I ask you: When it comes to your relationship life, what do you carry with you? full luggage, a Carry-on or a Personal Item? I’m sure its possible to be that person that gets on the plane with just a rolled up magazine, but it’s hard for me to imagine that we all don’t carry something— even it’s only subconsciously. If you are truly free of any imprint from any other relationship that’s a seldom seen occurrence and I congratulate you, but for the rest of us it’s a process. There was a time when I carried the whole luggage set. I have since paired it down to a couple of “carry-ons”.  Realize, not all baggage is a negative take away from a relationship. Sometimes we take the things we liked from a past love and carry those attributes with us to our next encounter—trying hard to make the next interest wear them, whether they fit or not…

But that’s just my take, here’s what some of you had to say: Read the rest of this entry »

Do you believe in love at first sight? After seeing Kelly Rowland in her latest video “Motivation”, I sure do. And if you’ve seen it, you know what I mean. It’s something about her confidence and easy sex appeal. The way she looks good sweaty…but I digress. Seriously, is there such thing as love at first sight? Lust for sure, but love? I wonder—especially for men.

The romantic soul inside me wants to believe, but I don’t have much evidence it does. Love at first sight is one thing, but what about “soul mates” and just falling in love in general. As guys we get a bad rap when it comes to commitment of the heart – sometimes deserved, sometimes not. I don’t want to speak for EVERY brother, so I put the question out there and got some interesting responses: Read the rest of this entry »

Remember the 80’s movie Freaky Friday? (I’m dating myself big time) In this movie, a mother and daughter switch bodies for a day and live each others lives… Well, after hearing a married couple I’m friends with “argue” about who wears the pants in their house – I started thinking; over the last 20 years have we experienced a kind of Freaky Friday role reversal in our romantic associations? Have societal demands and circumstances changed the way we conceptualize, approach, relate and participate in our love relationships?

Clearly more and more women are passing men in educational and professional success and there are more men than ever suffering from what I call the “baby boy syndrome” (single moms spoiling and coddling their boys, raising a generation of sons to be more their “guurlfriends”, than the men of the house). With these factors, it is easy to see how one’s role in a relationship can be confused. Read the rest of this entry »

I believe it was the great philosopher Ludacris who asked, “What’s your fantasy?” That is quite the important question, but when we hear it from the lips of our lover, is it sincere? Probably. At least until they hear our answer. And there lies the rub. One person’s fantasy could be another’s nightmare.

So when you ask your lover/spouse “what’s your fantasy?” do you really ask with the intention of fulfilling whatever their imagination has conjured up or just some of them… maybe – if it’s something you’re into… and you’ve had enough to drink.

Conversely, when you are asked the question, do you really share your deep, deep, down fantasies or just what u think is possible to have fulfilled? Have you ever gotten your ultimate fantasy? Have you ever participated in a fantasy you never thought you would? Read the rest of this entry »